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    August 30

    犬马无良

        
       
        原来只有恨让他痛快些。
        他发了疯似得摔东西,房间里一片狼籍。直到累了才歇手。他扶着墙有些晕眩,满眼金花几朵几朵的炸开,这让他觉得恶心,喉咙里一紧,憋不住一口血吐了出来;那股子腥味夹杂着灰尘四下飘荡,好象死牢里才有的味道。他真当自己是在牢里数日子,等的不过一个死而已。
        此刻,挂钟的秒针走动的声音尤其响,应和着脉搏,咔...咔...一秒,两秒,好漫长。这光景让他想起小时候;一整个暑假除了睡觉就是看着窗格子里的梧桐叶子,蝉虫叫的好细密,在房间里袅袅的化开;那样的声音一样没有断开的迹象,好象无数把小刀子四面八方飞舞回旋;久了,他也麻木了,剩下一副削尽皮肉的骨架子。
        从那以后,这副骨架子也没再长出肉来;旁人也懒的和他亲近,连最亲热的人最后都嫌他薄情寡意。而他还是那样,只是不再象小时候那么安静了;他仿佛是中了巫蛊,脾气变的癫狂难测,时常做些出格的事情。而今天也是,他只因一个“爱”字着了魔障;那个字是别恋,与己无关。可偏偏在他面前招摇,这好象在牢窗外看见一张鲜丽的风筝高高的飘着,而隐约有欢喜的笑声入耳。一样一样如隔空的小刀子在凌迟他。
        他晃晃悠悠走到窗前,揭开遮光帘子;天边的乌云是灰绸子沾了泪,深深浅浅的拧做一团。好在没大雨,也灰的极干净,四下悄无声息。真是好天气,这算是他生命里难得的好时光吧,只是不知道能有多久。
        他抬手把窗户开条缝,一阵凉风吹进来;他鼻子一酸,泪珠子便滚了下来。这泪是烫的,或许是脸太凉;总之,他觉得眼泪不是淌在自己的脸上,也说不清悲哀,只觉得阵阵酥麻,好象被剥了脸皮,分不清哭笑。
        不知道谁会从窗外看见他,大抵会想这是怎样的一个人。但久了也不会有人想,他就是一个雕塑,没有表情,那些泪不过是入秋前最后的几滴露罢了。
     
     
     

    Comments (3)

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    wrote:
    好久没来,今天安静地逐字读完。你还是你啊。
    Oct. 1
    飞鸟wrote:
    又偶然發現你了
    Aug. 31
    Hermanswrote:
    罢了!
    好词!
    Aug. 30

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